Weekly Writing 03 – Unwanted

Once upon a time, I lived on The Shelf. My life was fairly static. My home, my prison, was surrounded by a plastic bubble backed by cardboard that left little room to move. There I would sit with all the others, waiting for the time of the Choosing. Hoping beyond hope that I would become one of the Chosen.

All day people would come and look at me. They would stare and point. Once and a while one would take me down and for a moment I would dare to hope that I had been chosen. The hope would rise from deep within and I would dream of living the life. We would all hear the stories from others who were chosen, chosen but returned. Stories of laughter, of joy, of belonging. The Returned were desperate to get back to it. They’ve been there. They’ve had what I wanted. Someone to play with. Someone who would love me unconditionally. It always seemed just out of reach. It was. The dream would die as I was placed back on The Shelf. There to remain. Unwanted.

Until today. A kindly looking old man took me from The Shelf and looked me over. He spent a lot of time scrutinizing me and my accessories. I tried not to let the hope build, but it was hard not to. I fought at it, pushing it down, desperate to avoid disappointment once again. Instead, I found myself being carried away. Images rushed past me as I was taken further and further from The Shelf. My heart soared. I was one of the Chosen.

At first life was a blur as I was taken from place to place. I went from warmth, to cold, then back to warmth. Then things began to slow. I was placed with care into a box. Lovingly cushioned amongst brightly colored tissue paper. I slept.

I woke to the sound of paper ripping and children squealing. Light spilled into the box, blues and reds and greens, blinking and dancing. I found myself in the hands of a small boy. If the stories were true, I would be freed from this prison and would be free to play. Free to love.

Instead, I was set aside. I watched the boy tear into other brightly wrapped boxes and bags. He laughed and clapped and sang as more of the Chosen were placed beside me. Soon, the boxes and bags were gone, leaving nothing but paper.

One by one, the other of the Chosen were freed from their cardboard and plastic prisons. But not me. Only I remained trapped. Only me.

I was taken from the room of lights and placed on another shelf in a small room full of shirts and pants that hung from a long pole. The door closed and I was alone in the dark. Why was I here? Why didn’t the boy free me? Was I not one of the Chosen?

Then I knew. I was to be returned. I wasn’t wanted. The boy didn’t want me. I was to be one of the Returned. I would go back on The Shelf. I would not be freed. I would not know joy, nor love. I would not know what it felt like to belong.

As I felt sleep take hold, as I thought of life back on The Shelf, I tried to reassure myself that this was all for the best. That I would be chosen one day. That I was wanted. I just had to be patient. My time would come.

After all, we were built to wait.


Story Dam

This comes from a story prompt from storydam.com which said: “Since many of you don’t appear to be being challenged enough, we’re going to step our game up a little for the Dam Burst prompts…starting today. You get to play the part of the gift (Mwah ha ha!) Write a piece in which you, the gift, have fulfilled your destiny—to be given to someone… only they don’t want you.”

The Friday 10: Favorite DC Heroes

DEAN
10. Booster Gold
9. Blue Beetle
8. Black Lightning
7. Aquaman
6. Power Girl
5. Wonder Woman
4. Green Lantern (Dean specified Kyle as his favorite)
3. Nightwing
2. Captain Marvel (aka Shazam)
1. Superman

HAROLD
10. Mr. Terrific (Michael Holt)
9. Aquaman
8. Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner)
7. Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)
6. Captain Atom
5. Nightwing
4. Flash (Wally West)
3. Martian Manhunter
2. The Ray (Ray Terrill)
1. Captain Marvel (aka Shazam)

KEITH
10. Arsenal
9. Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)
8. Superman
7. Flash (Wally West)
6. The Question (Vic Sage)
5. The Atom (Ryan Choi)
4. Stargirl
3. Robin/Red Robin (Tim Drake)
2. Sandman (Wesley Dodds)
1. Batman

RYAN
10. Damage
9. Nightwing
8. Lobo
7. Ragdoll
6. Booster Gold
5. Animal Man
4. Catman
3. Power Girl
2. Captain Marvel (aka Shazam)
1. Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)

STEEVEN
10. Black Lighting
9. Black Canary
8. Elongated Man
7. Wonder Woman
6. Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)
5. Mr. Miracle
4. The Question (Vic Sage)
3. Green Arrow
2. Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)
1. Superman

The Friday 10: Favorite Marvel Villains

DEAN
10. Sandman
9. Bullseye
8. Arcade
7. Sebastian Shaw
6. Annihilus
5. Baron Zemo
4. Red Skull
3. Green Goblin
2. Magneto
1. Doctor Doom

HAROLD
10. Doctor Doom
9. Abomination
8. Purple Man
7. Graviton
6. Taskmaster
5. Magneto
4. The Scourge
3. Scarlet Centurian (Squadron Supreme universe version)
2. Reed Richards
1. Tony Stark

Ooo! Controversy!

KEITH
10. Rhino
9. Swarm
8. M.O.D.O.K.
7. Thanos
6. Doctor Octopus
5. Red Skull
4. Green Goblin
3. Galactus
2. Magneto
1. Doctor Doom

Swarm is an undead Nazi whose body is made of bees!

RYAN
10. Juggernaut
9. Taskmaster
8. Super Skrull
7. Maestro
6. Bullseye
5. Magneto
4. Thanos
3. Kraven the Hunter
2. Galactus
1. Dr. Doom

STEEVEN
10. Armadillo
9. Whiplash
8. Batroc the Leaper
7. Shocker
6. Absorbing Man
5. Crossbones
4. The Wrecker
3. Rhino
2. Taskmaster
1. Juggernaut

Weekly Writing 02 – Winter State of Mind

The mug was warm in my hands. Steam rose from the coffee within and left a stream of condensation on the window. I took a sip of the caffeinated joy and moaned slightly with pleasure as the heat seeped into me.

I smiled and looked out at the day through the kitchen window. A thick layer of new snow coated the world outside my house. All around me was white. Nothing moved. The sun was rising, shining onto the perfect stillness of the morning.

Nothing was more beautiful than a world resting beneath a blanket of untouched snow. I smiled again and pulled the robe tighter around me.

The robe was blue, plump, and comforting. It went with the slippers that hugged my feet in their thick and fluffy embrace.

More snow began to fall in large white clumps, like cotton balls falling slowly to the earth. Everything beyond the window was white, pristine, sterile … practically perfect in every way.

Inside I was warm and cozy. Cradled in the smell of newly brewed coffee. Swimming in the sounds of the Beatles playing softly on the stereo behind me.

Life was good. Nay, life was great. I lived for mornings like this. It was really all about moments when it came to life. That’s it. Just the moments. For me, the best moments happened as the day begun. When nothing stirred. These moments were great and were only made better in the dead of winter after a voluminous snowfall.

Mornings like this made me feel like I was the first one up and about. Not just in my house, but in the world. Everyone everywhere were all snug in their beds. Dreaming their little dreamy dreams. I, alone, was available to look on as the world slept. It was a special feeling.

Unfortunately, these moments are fleeting. They aren’t made to last. I suppose that’s precisely why they are called “moments”. So I finish my coffee and take one more look upon the unspoiled winter that lies just outside my kitchen window. I try to embed the picture on my mind. Hoping beyond hope to have something to carry with me, a fond memory to help get me through my day.

Because the fact is, regardless of the love I have for the perfect beauty of the landscape beyond my front door that lies still and silent and draped in white, I know that it won’t be long before I have to go out into it. Then the love will be lost as I dig my car out from what was once an object of peace. The air will thicken with curses as I shovel the snow, breaking my back and destroying my spirit. My heart will fill with fear each time I encounter another driver on the icy roads, which I’m sure will only result in more curses.

The best of winter happens indoors. Warm blankets. Snuggling with loved ones. Heating your insides with coffee, cocoa, or a big bowl of chili. It’s comfort. It’s pure and it’s simple. It’s wonderful. It’s perfection.

It’s when you’re forced to go out into it that you’re reminded that snow is ugly, indifferent, mocking, painful, but most of all, cold.


This comes from a story prompt from storydam.com which simply said: “Write a piece (fiction or non-fiction) in which your character is experiencing the worst part of winter.”

To me, the worst of winter is going out into it. I hope I conveyed that affectively.


Read more from Steeven at www.steevenorrelse.com

In Which Keith Gives Good Parenting Advice

My cousin was lamenting to me the fact that she had run out of lunch meat as she was packing her boys’ school lunches.  This was my response.

“Well, the solution is obvious. Stand them facing each other. Throw a knife on the floor between them. The one that lives gets to eat the other one.”

P.S. Happy sixth birthday Colin. Fighting your brother to the death in a cannibalistic knife fight is part of growing up.

The Friday 10: Top Ten Marvel Heroes

The very first installment of a new feature here on the Ultra Friends site, a weekly survey style top ten list.  This week it’s our top ten favorite Marvel heroes.

DEAN
10: Hawkeye
9: Iron Fist
8: Invisible Woman
7: She-Hulk
6: Hercules
5: Thor
4: Captain America
3: Hulk
2: Colossus
1: Thing

HAROLD
10: Nova
9: Thing
8: Captain Marvel (Genis-Vell)
7: U.S. Agent
6: Quasar
5: Strong Guy
4: Wonder Man
3: Nightcrawler
2: Hulk
1: Mimic (from Exiles)

KEITH
10: Amadeus Cho
9: Kitty Pryde
8: Luke Cage
7: Iron Fist
6: Thing
5: Hulk
4: Nightcrawler
3: Captain America
2: Madrox
1: Spider-Man

RYAN
10: Amadeus Cho
9: She-Hulk
8: Archangel
7: Psylocke
6: Hawkeye
5: Gambit
4: Spider-Man
3: Wonder Man
2: Madrox
1: Hulk

STEEVEN
10: Silver Surfer
9: Thor
8: Punisher
7: Daredevil
6: Hulk
5: Thing
4: Hawkeye
3: Captain America
2: Wolverine
1: Spider-Man

Weekly Writing 01 – The Bus

People won’t stop staring at me. It doesn’t matter where I go, they just stare … openly.

They stare and they point and the whisper. Like I’ve done something wrong. They judge me.

I can’t take it anymore. Something has to be done. I have to put a stop to it.

On the bus today each passenger turned in their seat and watched as I walked to the back. The whispers followed along closely behind me.

I sat alone at the back of the bus. I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable as everyone on the bus turned in their seats to stare at me. Even the driver. I was sure we’d hit someone or run a red light, but I was amazed with his ability to drive with his back to the steering wheel.

I started to sweat. Why where they all looking at me?

An young couple near the front began to whisper to each other. They gestured threateningly in my direction and shook their heads. It was as if they made their minds up about something, I just didn’t know what it was. Their faces were set and resolute.

I ran my hands up and down my lap, over and over, as I tried to look away from the other passengers. I turned to the look out the window on the driver’s side of the bus. I watched the shops as we passed them.

The bus stopped for a red light and I noticed a man in grey sweats running in place on the corner. He suddenly stopped and turned in my direction. Our eyes met. I could see hatred and judgment in his. He shook his head at me. He mouthed a curse. He reached into the pockets on the front of his sweat shirt and slowly pulled something black and metallic free. It was a gun. A revolver. It didn’t look real. It was too big. Almost comically so.

The jogger pointed the gun at me and I dropped to the floor of the bus, screaming. The bus began to move. The light had turned green.

I got back into my seat. I swiped a hand across my forehead. It was drenched in sweat. My hair was slick with it.

No one was looking my way any longer. The passengers were all face forward in their seats. They were calm and quiet. Stoic. Dossal.

The old woman in the seat ahead of me turned and smiled.

“They’re all going to kill you,” she said, gesturing to the other people on the bus.

“What?” was my only response.

“You won’t live to see the next stop,” she said and turned back around without another word.

“Wait,” I yelled. “What are you talking about?”

I stood and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her violently to her feet.

“Talk to me,” I shouted at her.

“You’re hurting me,” she said through teeth clenched in pain.

The other passengers rose. The two or three near me shouted and grabbed at me. I threw the old woman to the ground and backed up.

“Stay away from me,” I screamed.

I felt something in my jacket pocket. I reached for it and pulled it out. It was cold and heavy. Metallic. It fit just right in my hand. It was comforting. It was a gun.

A scream erupted from somewhere in front of me. The primal scream of a warrior on the attack. The gun in my hand rose and my finger found the trigger.

I squeezed the trigger and nothing was ever the same.


Read more from Steeven at www.steevenorrelse.com

A Conversation Just Had

Christian: Okay, so here’s the solution to our future. Let’s open a funeral home/memorial video service

Keith: No, I don’t work with the dead. I barely even like working with the living.

Christian: Yeah, but it’s recession proof.  Everybody’s dying… so why not cash in?

Keith: What if the singularity hits? We’ll look quite the fools then.

Christian: Never gonna happen. It’s a myth. We’ll adapt.

Keith: How would the funeral home business adapt to the bubble bursting on mortality?

Christian: Well, we’d have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Keith: In our shiny new robot bodies!

From there it just devolved into a serious conversation about how the sudden option of uploading your consciousness into a pure-data state would affect Vatican policy.

The “Shelter” anthology is ready to print!! Taking orders now!

We’ve finally finished our anthology “Shelter”.

It’s a 52 page black and white comics anthology, who’s proceeds are going towards “Food on Foot”, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing the poor and homeless of Los Angeles with nutritious meals, clothing, and assistance in the transition to employment and life off the streets. Shelter has action, humor, and heart. You’ll find tales of alien cowboys, teenaged detectives, walrus men, stale popcorn, plus a serious story or two.

Copies are $6, plus $1 shipping. If you’d like a copy, please email me HERE, and I can send you a payment request through Paypal. I’ll be ordering them at the end of the week.

Copies will also be available through Indyplanet in the future, and also hopefully DCBService.

Here are some preview pages of the book: